Agile is fucking horrible -- when the cult takes over

[sfd]

Introduction

Agile universities, certifications, agile consulting, traveling coaches,
planning poker card sets, agile software products, agile modeling, agile
arm bands, countless agile books and the crazed cycle of agile
conferences.

Huh?

The buzz cycle is in overdrive and it’s electrocuted the business world
with the promise of faster, better and cheaper. This article is a plea to
stop. Stop all the hype, the opportunistic profiting, and the marketing.

Good Intentions Turned Ugly

What started out as a challenge to the software development community to
think outside the box ( invent, create ), abandon a one size fits all
model to approaching software development and execute your projects in a
pragmatic fashion that takes account of the context you’re working
in….has turned into a marketing machine of horrible dimensions.

There was a time when people talked agile and you knew they were on the
vanguard; trying to solve the real problems. They cared. They were
passionate, deliberate, and informed. Now, when you hear a colleague
professing agile…they’re most likely drinking the kool-aid poured by the
snake-oil agile coach from Denver or San Fran. The formulaic response to
the core problems is all too familiar and draining:

Poor Requirements – You need user stories and iterations.
Defects in Software – Continuous integration and TDD will solve that.
Bad estimation – Use planning poker. It always works.
Change Management – Break it up into iterations and embrace the
changes given in iteration reviews.

I’m not knocking these techniques. Many are novel inventions that do have
their place in SD/AD. But instead of being offered as potential options,
patterns, techniques to solving a problem among many other potential
solutions; they have become a sales pitch by the opportunist preying on
desperate CIOs. Buyer beware. Bubbles pop and my gut says the needle to
prick this balloon is getting very sharp and close.

Let’s stop agilizing everything. Good ideas, tools, and techniques don’t
need the world ‘agile’ pre or post fixed to be worthwhile.

Come Back Home

So turn off the scrum-o-matic. Wipe the agile makeup from your face, and
put the kanban sequin dress away. There are still problems to solve. We
haven’t unraveled this thing called software development. It’s devilishly
vexing and we need good minds focused on it. Become neo-software-amish,
come back home to the forest of software trolls and invent/create again.

[m***@gmail.com]

Post by sfd
Introduction
Agile universities, certifications, agile consulting, traveling coaches,
planning poker card sets, agile software products, agile modeling, agile
arm bands, countless agile books and the crazed cycle of agile
conferences.
Huh?
The buzz cycle is in overdrive and it's electrocuted the business world
with the promise of faster, better and cheaper. This article is a plea to
stop. Stop all the hype, the opportunistic profiting, and the marketing.
Good Intentions Turned Ugly
What started out as a challenge to the software development community to
think outside the box ( invent, create ), abandon a one size fits all
model to approaching software development and execute your projects in a
pragmatic fashion that takes account of the context you're working
in....has turned into a marketing machine of horrible dimensions.
There was a time when people talked agile and you knew they were on the
vanguard; trying to solve the real problems. They cared. They were
passionate, deliberate, and informed. Now, when you hear a colleague
professing agile...they're most likely drinking the kool-aid poured by the
snake-oil agile coach from Denver or San Fran. The formulaic response to
Poor Requirements - You need user stories and iterations.
Defects in Software - Continuous integration and TDD will solve that.
Bad estimation - Use planning poker. It always works.
Change Management - Break it up into iterations and embrace the
changes given in iteration reviews.
I'm not knocking these techniques. Many are novel inventions that do have
their place in SD/AD. But instead of being offered as potential options,
patterns, techniques to solving a problem among many other potential
solutions; they have become a sales pitch by the opportunist preying on
desperate CIOs. Buyer beware. Bubbles pop and my gut says the needle to
prick this balloon is getting very sharp and close.
Let's stop agilizing everything. Good ideas, tools, and techniques don't
need the world 'agile' pre or post fixed to be worthwhile.
Come Back Home
So turn off the scrum-o-matic. Wipe the agile makeup from your face, and
put the kanban sequin dress away. There are still problems to solve. We
haven't unraveled this thing called software development. It's devilishly
vexing and we need good minds focused on it. Become neo-software-amish,
come back home to the forest of software trolls and invent/create again.

Beautiful post, I'm sorry I only just discovered.... Been thinking this way for a couple of years now. This fad is nothing short of a con. As a time served developer I can hand on heart say I delivered more value using trusted barmy techniques such as specifications to develop against, business requirements being documented, this also gave me something in writing that I could hold up to my customer when they decided to pull the old "this isn't what I asked for" routine..... This still gets pulled now but there aint any sign off any more!!!! Developers are taking on far too much responsibility! Analyst/Test author/QA/Tester/2nd Line support.... The list is growing at a pathetic rate and is simply going to lead to "burn out".

How I miss the golden olden days where there were no uber developers, just a team of lads and lasses who could do a bit of code and knock out usable systems! *reminiscent outro music here*